本文探讨了在数字化时代忽略信息和信息沟通的礼仪问题。作者认为在这个忙碌的时代中，我们应该放弃不断回复信息的要求，而应该将这种行为描述为“分类”，即在忙碌的日程中，必须不断做出决策来确定哪些信息需要立即回复，哪些信息需要思考后再回复，哪些信息不值得回复。虽然忽略信息在数字化时代看起来很粗鲁，但实际上，数字化时代的信息交流礼仪应该与面对面或电话交流的礼仪不同。
It was a Tuesday night. In my apartment, I was doing three things at once — packing for a short business trip, trying to get dinner on the table for my family and taking turns with my husband to calm a crying baby. Behind me, one work Slack alert after another dinged from my laptop. I ignored them all. During dinner, a text popped up on my phone. "Where are u????" asked my colleague.
那是一个星期二的晚上，在我的公寓里，我同时做着三件事情——为短途商务旅行打包行李，试图给家人准备晚餐，还要轮流与我的丈夫安抚一个哭泣的婴儿。在我身后，我的笔记本电脑不断传来工作Slack的提示音，但我全部无视了。晚饭时，我的手机上弹出了一条短信：“你在哪里啊？”我的同事问道。
I wanted to scream. Instead, I didn't reply to the text. This wasn't the first time I'd ignored a digital summons, and it wouldn't be the last. I didn't mean to be disrespectful or malicious — but at the same time I knew what I wanted my silence to communicate: This is not a priority for me right now. You are not my priority.
我想尖叫，但我没有回复这条短信。这不是我第一次忽略数字召唤，也不会是最后一次。我不是故意不尊重或恶意对待别人，但同时我知道我沉默的意图：这对我现在来说不是优先事项，你也不是我的优先事项。
Ignoring messages is frowned upon in these always-on times. At its most egregious, dropping out of communication is condemned as "ghosting," which, in the years since the term became widespread, has become a deadly sin of digital communications.
在这个“始终在线”的时代，忽略消息是被鄙视的。最为严重的是，在数字交流中断的情况下被谴责为“鬼魂”，这个术语自普及以来，已经成为数字通信的致命罪。
It's often used in dating and friendship contexts — and indeed, in research published in 2018, 21.7 percent of participants of one study admitted to ghosting a romantic partner, and almost one in three participants in another study said they had ghosted a friend. But as anyone working in a digital environment can attest, ghosting in work contexts is also rampant — among co-workers, during professional networking and in the hiring process, even among those trying to get a job. An Indeed survey published last year found that 46 percent of job seekers did not show up for a scheduled interview with a prospective employer, and 77 percent of job seekers said they had been ghosted by a prospective employer since the beginning of the pandemic.
它通常用于恋爱和友谊的背景下——实际上，在2018年发表的一项研究中，21.7%的参与者承认鬼魂了一个恋人，而在另一项研究中，将近三分之一的参与者表示，他们曾经鬼魂了一个朋友。但是，任何在数字环境中工作的人都可以证明，在工作背景下，鬼魂现象也是猖獗的——在同事之间、在专业人士之间的网络交流以及在招聘过程中，甚至在那些试图找工作的人之间。去年发布的一项Indeed调查发现，46%的求职者未按预约出席面试，77%的求职者表示，自疫情爆发以来，他们曾被可能的雇主鬼魂。
We can all agree that suddenly cutting off contact with a romantic partner or professional colleague, never to be heard from again, is rude and should happen much less than it currently does. But what about the other, less egregious ways we might blow off each other's messages, especially at work? In these exhausting times, when so many are overburdened with family responsibilities, stress, grief and anxiety, perhaps we should let go of the outdated, demanding requirement to participate in ceaseless back-and-forth conversations.
我们都可以认同，突然中断与恋人或职业同事的联系，再也没有任何消息，这种行为是不礼貌的，且应该比目前少发生。但是对于我们在其他情况下可能会忽略对方信息的方式，尤其是在工作场合中，我们应该怎么做呢？在这个疲惫不堪的时代，当许多人都被家庭责任、压力、悲伤和焦虑所压垮时，也许我们应该放弃过时、苛刻的要求，不再需要参与不断来回的对话。
Cal Newport, a computer science professor and the author of "A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload," suggested to me (via email) that "triage" is a better way to describe this type of behavior.
计算机科学教授、《没有电子邮件的世界：在通讯超载时代重新构想工作》一书的作者卡尔·纽波特（Cal Newport）通过电子邮件向我建议，将这种行为描述为"分流"（triage）更为恰当。
Many of us have no choice but to triage, as we are flooded with Slack messages, emails, texts and Zoom requests, and must make constant real-time decisions about which ones warrant an instantaneous response, which ones we need to think about before answering and which others aren't really worth our attention. All this digital noise can lead to a state of "cognitive overload," which researchers in a paper on remote work during the pandemic published last year warned "may result in ineffective information processing, confusion, loss of control, psychological stress — or even an increase of depressive symptoms."
我们中的许多人别无选择，只能进行信息分流，因为我们被Slack消息、电子邮件、短信和Zoom请求淹没，必须不断地实时决策哪些消息需要立即回复，哪些需要考虑后再回复，哪些不值得我们关注。所有这些数字噪音会导致"认知超载"状态，在去年发表的一篇关于疫情期间远程工作的论文中，研究人员警告说，这可能会导致信息处理无效、困惑、失控、心理压力甚至情绪低落的增加。
For those of us who strive to be polite, text-based digital communications — all those chimes and dings and vibrations — can be extremely demanding. Ignoring a Slack, email or text message feels rude, but should it? After all, as Daniel Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute, which offers advice and training on good manners, reminded me, when our phone rings, we're under no obligation to answer it. "You have to be a civil and decent person," Mr. Senning told me, "but you don't have to give your time and attention to everyone who asks for it."
对于那些努力保持礼貌的人来说，基于文本的数字通信 - 所有的提示音、振动和提示 - 可能会非常苛刻。忽略Slack、电子邮件或短信似乎很失礼，但真的需要这样吗？毕竟，正如艾米丽·波斯特研究所的丹尼尔·波斯特·森宁提醒我的那样，当我们的手机响起时，我们没有义务接听它。 "你必须是一个文明和体面的人，"森宁先生告诉我，"但你不必为每个要求你的时间和注意力的人付出。"
The etiquette of digital communications is and should be different from that of in-person or phone conversation, Mr. Newport argued, especially when it comes to the back and forth of hellos, goodbyes and other pleasantries, which can become a kind of communication clutter. "It might seem rude in the moment not to say something, as in an in-person conversation it can feel abrupt to not finalize an exchange," he explained. "But in the context of digital communication, the sender often actually prefers avoiding the receipt of additional messages when possible."
新波特先生认为，数字通信的礼仪应该与面对面或电话交谈的礼仪不同，尤其是在问候、告别和其他礼节方面，这些可能会成为一种沟通杂乱。 "在当时不说话可能会显得粗鲁，就像在面对面的交谈中不结束一个交流可能会感到突兀一样，"他解释道。 "但在数字通信的背景下，发件人通常实际上更喜欢在可能的情况下避免接收额外的消息。"
Being triaged might not feel much better than being ghosted if you have an urgent question for your boss, client or colleague — I've been on that side of the interaction, too. But it's at least more realistic, relatable and human. I've found that it forces me to confront my own main-character syndrome — the idea that we all play a starring role in the movie that is our life, with everyone else merely the supporting cast. It makes me acknowledge that the "ghosts" are, like me, full, complicated people with off-screen demands that might often pull them away from digital conversations. It might also force me to do my own triage — do I really need this question answered, or can I make the decision myself and move on?
如果您对老板、客户或同事有紧急问题，被分配任务的感觉可能不会比被鬼魂般忽略要好得多 - 我也曾经处于这种互动的一边。但至少它更现实、可感知和人性化。我发现它迫使我面对自己的主角综合症 - 即我们所有人在电影中都扮演着主角，而其他人只是配角的想法。这让我承认， "鬼魂" 像我一样是充满复杂的人，他们的离屏需求可能经常将他们从数字对话中拉走。它还可能迫使我自己进行分流——我真的需要回答这个问题，还是可以自己做出决定并继续前进？
In an era when we understand more and more the importance of rest and time away from screens, triaging can be necessary for our peace of mind and relationships with the people in our lives: When we're on vacation. When it's after 7 p.m. When we're at the dinner table. When we're meditating or exercising. If you don't reply immediately to a message during one of those times, don't apologize. Just reply when you can. Or don't.
在我们越来越理解休息和远离屏幕对心灵平静和人际关系的重要性的时代，分类处理可能是必要的：当我们度假时，当晚上7点以后时，当我们在吃饭的时候，当我们在冥想或锻炼时。如果你在这些时间里不能立即回复信息，不要道歉。尽力在你可以的时候回复。或者不回复。
And if you are the message sender, and you really do need an answer to that question, don't be shy about sending a polite follow-up. There's a strong chance the person who triaged your previous note might be grateful for a second chance to connect. Or consider switching mediums. If you've been triaged from an email chain and your note is urgent, follow up via instant message or Slack. But try to avoid launching a back-and-forth passive-aggressive digital sword fight. Nobody wins those.
如果你是信息的发送者，而你确实需要那个问题的答案，不要害羞地发送礼貌的跟进。很有可能分类处理你的先前消息的人会感激有第二次机会联系的机会。或考虑更换通信媒介。如果你从邮件链中被分类处理而你的消息很紧急，请通过即时消息或Slack进行跟进。但要尽量避免发起来回的被动侵略性数字剑斗。没有人会从中受益。
Is triaging a blanket permission to descend into unexplained silence or become a bottleneck to your colleagues' work? No. Instead, establish boundaries with your work colleagues upfront so that they don't panic when they can't reach you. Make clear what questions you want to weigh in on and which you're happy for others to use their judgment about. Set an email responder or Slack status that makes it clear when you'll be slow to reply. Cordon off periods of the day or week when you're unlikely to answer messages, and let a few people know how to reach you in a true emergency.
分类处理是一个无需解释的沉默或成为同事工作的瓶颈吗？不是。相反，与你的工作同事事先建立界限，这样当他们无法联系到你时，他们就不会惊慌失措。明确表明你想要回答的问题和哪些问题你愿意让别人自己判断。设置一个电子邮件自动回复或Slack状态，以表明你回复慢的时间。隔绝每天或每周的时间段，当你不太可能回复信息时，让一些人知道如何在真正的紧急情况下联系你。
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