My regrettable “mean girl” moment happened when I was in seventh grade.
令人遗憾的“刻薄女孩”时刻发生在我七年级的时候。
I was living in a new town and struggling to fit in. As Halloween approached, I felt hopeful when a shy yet kind girl asked me if I would trick-or-treat with her. I jumped at the invitation, until another more “popular” girl invited me to walk around with her group. I made the selfish and unkind decision to tell the first girl that my parents said I needed to stay at home and pass out candy. I remember that painful feeling of shame that began to form in my heart as I delivered this dishonest excuse. But that little voice of conscience quickly disappeared.
我当时住在一个新城镇，很难融入其中。随着万圣节的临近，当一个害羞但善良的女孩问我是否愿意和她一起不给糖就捣蛋时，我感到充满希望。我欣然接受了邀请，直到另一个更“受欢迎”的女孩邀请我和她的团队一起散步。我做出了一个自私而不友善的决定，告诉第一个女孩我父母说我需要呆在家里分发糖果。我记得当我说出这个不诚实的借口时，那种痛苦的羞耻感开始在我心中形成。但那小小的良心之声很快就消失了。
While we were trick-or-treating, the “cool” girls were less than kind to me, but I convinced myself I had made the right decision. Then, I experienced a moment of pure embarrassment and shame when I found myself face to face with the sweet girl I had lied to. I’ll always remember the look of hurt and hate on her face when she saw me with another group of girls.
当我们不给糖就捣蛋时，那些“酷”女孩对我不太好，但我确信自己做出了正确的决定。然后，当我发现自己和我骗过的那个可爱的女孩面对面时，我经历了一段纯粹的尴尬和羞愧。我永远记得她看到我和另一群女孩在一起时脸上受伤和仇恨的表情。
I never took direct responsibility for my dishonest behavior. In the years that followed, we didn’t interact at school. We just ignored each other and every time I saw her, I heard a little voice that reminded me what an awful person I was. I also was never welcomed into the group of girls that I so desperately wanted to accept me. In fact, I became their target for aggressive behavior for the next few years.
我从不为自己的不诚实行为承担直接责任。在接下来的几年里，我们在学校里没有互动。我们只是忽略了对方，每次我看到她，我都会听到一个小声音，提醒我我是一个多么糟糕的人。我也从来没有被欢迎加入那些我非常想接受我的女孩群体。事实上，在接下来的几年里，我成了她们攻击性行为的目标。
Later, in my late 30s, I formed an interest in character education when I found myself at a personal and professional crossroads. With the guidance of a mentor, I began to consider the trajectory (轨迹) of my own character development and how relationships with family, friends, and educators, as well as experiences, such as my Halloween debacle (崩溃), had affected my values, beliefs, and decisions. This exploration uncovered a new sense of purpose that eventually led me to the Mary Lou Fulton Teachers College at Arizona State University (ASU).
后来，在我快30岁的时候，当我发现自己处于个人和职业的十字路口时，我对性格教育产生了兴趣。在导师的指导下，我开始考虑自己性格发展的轨迹，以及与家人、朋友和教育工作者的关系，以及我的经历，如万圣节惨败，如何影响我的价值观、信仰和决定。这一探索发现了一种新的目标感，最终我来到了亚利桑那州立大学玛丽·卢·富尔顿教师学院。
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